With leaving Colorado right around the corner, I decided that I needed a change. A going away present to myself. With my first two tattoo ideas in my mind a third idea came to me that I have also been considering, tattooing a small heart onto my wrist. With the self-harm rate still high in the youth generation, people have been drawing hearts on their wrist to show love and sympathy for the cutters. The same reason why I want a scar tattoo on my forearm. Cutting is part of my past, it’s not who I am any more but it’s helped molded me into who I am today – a stronger beautiful fighter.
Sitting in my room I really started to consider getting a heart tattoo. The more I thought about the tattoo, the more I wanted to spruce it up. I thought about adding color, adding a design to the outside, the inside, adding a cross to show God’s love, and then it hit me – a crown around the heart.
And then instantly, I saw the tattoo in my mind.
A few years ago, when I was working through a lot of issues in my life, the Lord used pictures of a heart to depict the different stages that my heart was in. The healing process that the Lord was leading me in. The first drawing of the heart was broken and harden by the cruelness of the world and got mended and placed back together by God. In another drawing, the heart was washed out and cleansed by ‘living water,’ the Holy Spirit. Another drawing showed the heart having to cross a bridge to get to God, in the middle of the bridge was fire. The heart had to cross through the fire, to get refined by the Holy Spirit to get closer to God. And one of the last drawings, was the heart being surrounded and protected by three beings (God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit), with a crown around it. The crown showed that the heart had become righteous again and that the heart was ruled by the King – God.
I am constantly reminded how much God loves me. And how much He cares for me, He saved me when I was lost and never let me go. My heart drawings mean a great deal to me. I am so grateful to have been able to pull some of the drawings together and show what the Lord has done in my life.
