Merry Christmas

This is my first Christmas, where I’ve been away from family. I’ve always celebrated this holiday with one form of a family. It’s been a very hard and difficult day. And, the fact that I feel alone on this special day isn’t helping very much.

I know this holiday is one that is supposed to be filled with remembrance of our saviors’ birth. Yes, I am very thankful that Jesus chose to come to earth as a human child and then chose to die for me so I wouldn’t have to – die.

However, the holiday is also supposed to be a holiday where we spend time with family and reflect on our love for one another. At least, that’s what I believe this holiday is supposed to be. I believe that Christmas has a double meaning; a day for remembrance of our savior and for reflection of our family.

And even though I can celebrate and remember my saviors’ birth on my own (and with God), I can’t have the love and care of my family on my own. I guess that’s what I’m missing the most this holiday- feeling the love of my family.

I know my Lord loves me. I’ve finally learned that. However, sometimes I can’t or don’t believe that others can or do love me. Holidays filled with close friends and family help to instill that in me.

Being unable to have a “normal” holiday this past year has really been taking its toll on me.

I can’t wait to be with my family again. I really miss them.