Love Will Save the Day

I ran across this little canvas today at the store. I ran in quick to buy some frames and as soon as my eyes fell on it, I knew I had to have it. It spoke to my soul. It ignited my spirit.

This saying is so true, isn’t it? Love will save the day. Love has saved the day.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” -John 3:16; New International Version

God’s love has saved us from death.

God’s love gets us through to another day.

God’s love saves us from ourselves.

God’s love gives me hope.

Incomplete Me

I love writing, but I don’t always find myself motivated enough to actually sit down and write down all the thoughts running through my head. Most of the time I just jot down the idea/topic of a blog with a few words or sentences into a Word Doc or into the Notes of my phone and I get back to it when I have the time or when I feel like writing.

A few weeks ago (I think a month or two. This shows how my time works, lol.) I decided I had too many Notes on my phone and that I needed to clean it out. So instead of deleting all the little thoughts/ideas I had I emailed them to myself and I’ve been trying to decide what I should do with them.

Instead of filing them away somewhere and never getting back to them, I’ve decided that I’m going to post them all here – at once. I don’t want to lose these thoughts that I had. And even though these blurbs are short and abrupt, they show where I was and how I was feeling. I mean that’s the point of my blog, to show my growth and sometimes failure.

If we don’t know where we come from, how are we to know if we want to be where we’re heading?

Dec 29, 2012:

There's more to this world than you and me.

More than the I can see.

People come and go, leaving behind so much more.

But all we see, is how does it affect me?

If only I could look and see, there's more than what's in front of me.

I could see the sad and crying faces.

The hurting people in faraway places.

All the people waiting. For me.

I could change the world with one good word.

Feb 19, 2012:

With my move only a few weeks away, aspirations and hesitations fill my mind on an hourly basis. Excitement and fear rolled into one hysterical sphere of self-adjustment.

Jan 18, 2012:

There are so many emotions that are currently locked within my spirit. Vibrant thoughts and emotions that are bouncing around in me with nowhere to go. This entire year I've just been keeping all of these thoughts to myself.

August 27, 2011:

I'm all alone without you around.

I'm left in the dark to fight on my own.

The shadows whisper and tease.

August 14, 2011:

My spirit cries out in waves of suffocation.

July 9, 2011:

I feel so numb.

My eyes are swollen from all my crying.

My mind is working so slow.

I feel like I'm in a daze.

May 29 2011:

Silent sleeping, snoring souls.

Lulling themselves into new depths of tranquility.

Air That I Breathe

I almost cut myself today.

In my mind, I had already done it. I saw myself with a razor, pulling it across my wrist and seeing the blood. I can remember in the past the turmoil I would feel about cutting. Emotionally I wouldn’t want to do it, but my flesh would and once my mind was made up – there was no stopping me.

The weird thing about today is that I could see myself cutting in my mind. My mind had made the decision to harm, but my spirit hadn’t. I stood in my room, looking at my wrist, my mind seeing blood and then the next second I saw a sign that I had seen a few weeks before.

“Celebrate your Recovery, Tuesday Nights at 6:30pm.” I saw the sign a couple of weeks ago, in front of a church, and I knew instantly what it was. Celebrate Recovery, a Christ based recovery group for hurts, habits and hang-ups.  

I raised my eyes from my wrists to my clock, 5:58pm. I got dressed, grabbed my journal and got into Thomas. I drove to the church, entered the building and sat for the lesson. Everything happened so fast, just as quickly as my mind made the decision to cut; it made the decision to go.

I learned something today, about myself; I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. When my mind made the ‘decision’ to cut, my spirit hadn’t. My soul hadn’t. Of course my mind is going to jump to self-harm, that’s how I trained my mind to react. When I had the thought today there was no wanting, no craving, no desire – it was exactly that, a thought.

And just as quickly as I had this negative thought, I had a positive one. One that sought out God.

That makes me happy, and a little proud. Cause even though I see nothing but my hang-ups, I’m slowly transforming my mind. And that’s something to celebrate!

 Source.

 The song I was listening to while writing this post:

'Air That I Breathe' by Rapture Ruckus

Run the Race

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." 

-Hebrews 12:1; New King James Version (NKJV)