Envelope

I don't know how many times I've shared stories where I'm in desperate need of help or resolution, and instead of going to God first and asking for His guidance or help I rely on myself until I'm utterly desperate that I run to God as a last result. This, is NOT one of those stories. It's the quite opposite really.

A few weeks ago Mr Grumpy (my dad) lost a very important envelope in the house, he miss placed it somewhere. We looked (almost) everywhere for it. We looked for days, hours at a time. But it never showed up.

When Mr Grumpy first discovered that he miss placed it I went to the location where it was supposed to be, touched the place and prayed: "God, please help us find the envelope. Reveal to us where it is."

After I prayed the pray a location came to me. I went to the location, and nothing was there. I went back to the spot where it was supposed to be, prayed the prayer again and went to another location that came to me. Again, nothing. I went one last time back to the spot and prayed the prayer again - but this time I prayed with anger and annoyance. "Come on God! Just reveal to me where the envelope is! Just tell me!!"

I sat near the spot for a while, waiting and then the word towels entered my mind. I looked up into my dad's bathroom, behind the door is a cabinet where we keep all the towels. By this time I was pretty upset and annoyed. "AH!! Yeah right, it wouldn't be there." I got up and left. We continued to look for the envelope for a few more days, without any resolution.

Then one morning while Mr Grumpy was at work and I was in the kitchen, the Hoarder (dad's fiancé) enters the kitchen with a smile on her face.

"Guess what I found?"

I look at her, unsure. "Um...?"

"THE ENVELOPE!"

"You're kidding!? Where was it?"

"In the cabinet in your dad's bathroom. Under some of the towels."

I'm noticing a trend with me. I get extremely impatient with God. I want everything instantly and when I don't get what I want in my timing I throw a fit. And when I go to God about a certain issue multiple times, I get more and more angry at Him each time I have to go back.

This was a test, I see that now; I failed it miserably. God wanted to see how determined I would be to follow His guide. Apparently I'm not very determined.

I'm disappointed in myself. I didn't trust God and I didn't look in one more location He gave. But, I believe that God isn't. I don't think He see's it as a fail, I think He see's it as a lesson. I also believe that God knows I'm trying to become a better Christ follower. He knows my desire to become more like Him, more godly.

I have to remember that God knows my heart, even if my actions don't follow it; He knows I'm after Him.

I See YOU

One of the things that constantly infuriates my dad’s fiancé is the fact that my dad is always willing to give something away or help someone out. She says that my dad is “too nice” and helps others “too much.” To me, it’s normal. I guess being raised by two parents that were constantly willing to help someone out, I see nothing wrong with this.

My dad’s fiancé on the other hand, finds this extremely frustrating and is constantly giving my dad a hard time about it. But my dad being who he is, just let’s her negativity roll off his back and continues on.

I know my dad helps others because he finds joy in it. He truly enjoys helping others; the look he gets when he tells others: “My God provided so I can help you” is priceless. He gets a high by helping others. He truly understands the meaning of helping the poor and needy.

And me, why do I help others? Because I know how much it means to that person. When I lived in Texas, I don’t know how many times I would wake up, go to work with my belongings in Thomas and didn’t know where I was going to sleep that night. I had families take me into their homes, expecting nothing or very little from me. They gave me a safe, protected and godly place to live.

I learned, very slowly, that God would provide me a place to live and food in my tummy. Over and over again, God would place these people in my life who gave me things with no expectations and with pure motives.

It changed my worldview of giving and receiving.

Today I walked out of Subway carrying my family’s dinner. Out of nowhere, this man came around the corner.

“Hello there! How are you doing today?”
“I’m doing well thank you. How are you?”
“I’m doing good. Doing good. Trying to stay warm. The weather is being weird.”
“It is, isn’t it? Well, have a good night.”

And with that I got into my car and placed my food down. Until then, I hadn’t really looked at the man. But now that I was looking clearly at him, his clothes were cleaned, he was dressed nicely, and he looked put together. But hanging on his back was a backpack and from that plastic bags, paper towels and a Windex bottle. He was homeless, but you never would have guessed it. You could tell that he took pride in his appearance and you could see his joy on his face.

I sat in my car for a minute or so, taking him in. I then opened my door and got out of the car.

“I need to go to McDonald’s to pick up more food. Would you like anything?”
His face lit up. “Sure! That would be great.”
“What would you like? A drink; food?”
“I’m more hungry than thirsty.” He said with a little sadness.

I asked him a few more questions and then I left. I came back a few minutes later with a meal and gave it to him.

“Praise God! Thank you. Thank you so much!”
I smiled at him. “God bless you. Stay safe and warm.”
“I’ll try.”

I watched him as he walked away and I said a prayer for him. My little trip out today was only supposed to be three stops, but it turned into five. I quickly ran into two stores before I picked up the food and I know now that it was a God thing. If I wouldn’t have gone into those stores or if I would have rushed I would not have ran into that man. For some reason God had our paths cross. Some might say that it was for the man’s sake, but I say it was for mine.

I guess I’m more like my dad then I’d like to admit. I help others because I get joy out of it too.

DISCLAIMER: I do not share these stories to gloat or to say how ‘great’ of a Christian that ‘I am’. I share these stories because I believe that God is being given glory when the story is being played out and when it’s told. And I know sometimes it’s hard to help others, especially the homeless, I pray and hope with the telling of my stories that it will encourage people to help others and give people the nudge or push that they need to go out and be God’s hands and feet.

Hungry?

The Hunger Games came out on DVD yesterday. I wasn’t able to see it in the theatres. I desperately want to see this movie. Saturday (yesterday) I drove to almost all the RedBox’s in my area to find the movie, but by the time I got there it was gone. Today (Sunday) again, I drove to different RedBox’s to get the movie, but once I got there the movie was gone. I was starting to get a little frustrated. I opened the RedBox app on my iPhone and once again checked to see what kiosk’s had the movie.

‘The market across the street, I can totally get that one!’ I hopped in my car, drove to the market and rushed inside. As I turned the corner to the RedBox there was a man standing at the kiosk, he hit The Hunger Games icon and started to read the description.

‘Please don’t let that be the only one in the box.’ I wished into the atmosphere. He stood there for a minute reading the description as I became more anxious. ‘No. NO! Don’t get the movie. DON’T GET THE MOVIE!’ I pleaded with my mind. He then hit ‘add to cart,’ paid for the movie and walked away. I walked up to the box, hit the button to see what was inside and The Hunger Games was no longer available.

Once home I sat in the car and laughed to myself over the random circumstances. “It was right there. RIGHT THERE! I saw it and then it was gone!” I said out loud to my empty car. “I never see you this worked up when you miss church. ‘I could have gotten healed. But I missed the service. Dang it!’ or ‘Lord I could have had an amazing encounter with you but I chose not to. I was so foolish!’” I felt God mocking me and teaching me a lesson at the same time.

That’s how things usually work, isn’t it? We get angry and upset over not getting physical/earthly things. But who cares about the spiritual gifts from God that pass over our head? The thought never crosses our mind that we should be upset.

How many gifts do we pass up on a daily basis? Imagine, God has this life changing miracle for us but we decided that we don’t want to follow Him and head in a different direction. It’s Sunday morning and we stay in bed instead of going to church. And we lose the opportunity to be prayed over to break the hardship we’re struggling with.

I don’t want to imagine how many times I’ve passed up God or His gifts for me. But I know I am going to try and be more observant of what I could be passing up.