Cut It Off

I’ve been kind of down the last few days. I wouldn’t call it depression, just a little sad. It feels like a cloud is blocking my sun.

When I first started feeling this way, I allowed the emotions to lead me. It wasn’t drowning, so I figured I was fine – right? But then it hit me, the enemy was testing my shield. He’s looking and searching for a way to break into my mind and rip me to shreds (Matthew 12:43-45).

I could almost feel my shield being poked and pushed in. I instantly quoted Isaiah 53:5:

“But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.”

And Leviticus 12:8c:

“And the priest shall make atonement for her, and she shall be clean”.

Then slowly, I felt the cloud pull away from my sun and I felt peace.

Sometimes we get so use to things being ‘just a little bad’ that it doesn’t bother us. But then the enemy adds a little on top of that, until it becomes part of the pile. And the next thing we know, our ‘little’ is a huge mountain that we have no idea how it got there.

I finally took a stand today, and stopped the sadness before it got worse (Mark 9:42-44).

One small victory; one huge step in the right direction.

1 Peter 2:24

I'm Never Alone

The last few days I’ve been working through this daily devotional online. The website is called Setting Captives Free and the course I’m taking is called By His Wounds. The website has many daily devotional courses that help you work through different habits/addictions. The courses are full of scriptures, testimonies and a pastor’s commentary that leads you through the 60 day course. I just finished the third day of the course.

I’ve attempted to complete this course two other times, this is my third attempt. The farthest I’ve made is 28 days. I’m hoping to complete it this time. I know I need to get back into a spiritual structure of growth again.

There was a verse that was shared in today’s study that really touched me.

“The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost. We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong, on him, on him.” - Isaiah 53:5; The Message

I know why Jesus was beaten and placed on the cross. I know why He had to die for us. I know that because of His death, I can now talk to God myself. And that I can now go to Heaven. I also know that we can now be healed by the Holy Spirit because Jesus sent the Spirit to us after He resurrected and went back to Heaven.

My sin placed Jesus on the cross. My self-hate, my anger, my depression, every wrong thing I have ever done and ever will do – put Jesus on that cross… I knew this, I know this.

“He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed.”

Jesus’ bruises make us healed. His pain makes us whole. I found healing and I am whole, because of Jesus.

With every strike on Jesus’ back I became free. Every nail punctured through Jesus’ skin, I became whole. Because Jesus died, I’ll never be alone.

I never got it before. It never became real to me. I never truly understand how glorious this was - till today.