Chains, Not Necklaces

I spend a lot of time with my aunt, I love her dearly and she is one of the most important people in my life. We are similar in so many ways. We’re always on the same wave-link, but even with our same taste in toys, food and movies there’s so much that we differ in.

One day, I was hanging out with her and her granddaughter (my second cousin) when a conversation took place that I wasn’t comfortable with.

Cousin: 'Mommy says boys don’t wear necklaces'.
Aunt: 'That’s right. Girls wear necklaces and boys wear chains'.

How odd is it that we have to create a completely new word for an item that’s the exact same thing just so it can be gender specific?

And of course it would be taboo if the “chain” was thin and had a charm hanging from it; or had any decoration that might be considered “feminine”.

Why can’t a boy wear a necklace? Or play with a doll, wear a dress, paint their nails?

Little girls have a little more “creative” freedom. They can play with cars, action-figures, and play dress up in anything they want to. Because that “creativity” makes them stronger and more confidant. But if little boys play with "girl toys" or like the color pink, it makes them weak.

It saddens me that we live in a double standard world. That is FAR from changing.

Population -- Me

I’m becoming obsessed with Matthew West. I never realized before how much I really like his music.

One of the songs that God has really placed on my heart is ‘My Own Little World’. The song talks about how we sometimes because so ‘me’ focused that we forget that there are other people in the world. We only see ‘our’ would, ‘our’ life and we don’t realize that there are people that need our help and attention.

The music video shows a man who gets up, goes to work and has a daily routine. One day he sees a homeless widow standing on the corner and he realizes that she is a human. A living, breathing human who needs his help. So he helps her out and then the music video shows how he can help all these other people.

My favorite lyric is the line: “And my own little world reached population two”.

By taking just one moment, one moment of looking up from ourselves we can bring someone else into our lives and we can influence them.

The music video shows a homeless woman, a stranded mother with a child, a man who lost his job, a veteran with a broken vehicle, and a women crying on a bench.

Now, all these examples are great and we need to remember to help people in distress. But the group of people that the Lord placed on my heart was my father’s family.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned on this blog how I don’t get along with my father’s family. When I think of my “family” I think of my mother’s family and the people in Texas; the family I created for myself.

I purposely go out of my way to make sure that my dad’s side of the family is left out of the loop when it comes to the details of my life. I hardly communicate with any of them and when we have family-get-together’s I make sure to keep them at arm’s length. I try to avoid them at all costs.

Now, I know this isn’t very nice or very ‘Christ’-like. I know I shouldn’t have this much resentment towards them. And my reasoning is that I don’t want their lifestyle or principles to influence me. But God is starting to show me that I need to let them into ‘my own little world’. And just because they’ll be in ‘my own little world’ doesn’t mean that they’ll influence me - I could influence them.

My uncle passed today, my dad’s brother. He and I didn’t see eye-to-eye and honestly I couldn’t stand him. He wasn’t a very nice person to my father and me. But, he was a human. He was created and loved by God. My Almighty God.

I realize that I respect him more as a human-being now that he’s dead then when he was alive. And I know that’s not right.

God is starting to show me that I can, not like people. But by me not liking them, that doesn’t mean that I can despise them or even hate them. We’re all humans. We’re all created by God. We’re all His children.

If God loves me, His child, then that means that He loves them too, His other children. I don’t have to give them control or influence in my life, but I do need to validate them as His children. And even though they might not respect me as a human-being, I need to try to respect them as one.

‘Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me’

Compassion

When I lived in Colorado every time I exited a certain ramp off the highway there was always a man at the end of the off-ramp asking for money. I always saw the same two men, one who had a military duffel bag and one with a dog.

When I saw these men, my heart went out to them. I always wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to give them money, I was afraid they wouldn’t spend it on food or water. So instead, I prayed for them. Every time I saw one of them I prayed that the Lord would watch over, protect and provide for them. I even prayed for the dog.

Lately I’ve been asked by a few people if I could “spare some change.” I say no, mostly because I don’t carry cash, but also because that fear is still in me. I want to help people. I want to stop starvation and end homelessness, but I know at this moment that’s most likely improbable.


I’ve been crafting a lot lately and since I’m not good at measuring how much product I need, I find myself constantly going to the store to buy more. I pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot, into a space, grabbed my bag, closed my car door and started walking towards the entrance. A woman came up to me, told me her story and asked if I could spare any money. I told her no, sorry and entered the building.

Her story repeated over and over in my head while I shopped. She needed money to buy food for her dogs. I went to the dog food aisle, grabbed two packets of inexpensive dog food and prayed. “Lord, if she truly needs this food please allow me to see her when I leave.”

And that was it. My mind was at rest.

I’ve attempted this a few times before, getting people what they’re asking for instead of giving them money. The first few times didn’t work out like I had thought, they rejected the food. But I knew that God would honor my prayer.

I paid for my things and walked out the door. I was looking down, at my bag, and when I lifted my head – there she was, crossing the aisle I had parked my car. I called out to her and told her I wasn’t able to give her money, but I had bought her food. She smiled, took the food and seemed truly happy. She thanked me and walked away.

“God bless you.” She called out to me.

God bless you too.