Have you ever stripped everything away and just focused on Christ? Have you ever completely separated yourself from everything and just prayed for days straight? Have you ever taken a vow of silence to hear Christ’s voice? Have you ever just sat and waited for Christ to engulf you? Me neither – but I will have the chance this weekend.
This weekend is the Fasting – Vision LTE (Life Transforming Event). The fasting LTE is when we fast for about three and half days; we take a vow of silence; we’re not allowed to write letters, emails, or texts; we’re not allowed to listen to music, besides corporate worship time; the only book we’re allowed to read is the Bible; and we’re only allowed to drink water. Every distraction is completely stripped away from us and we are to focus only on God; seek His presence, guidance and “vision” for our life. The fasting started last night (Wednesday) and the vow of silence along with all the other restrictions will kick in tonight (Thursday) around 10pm. The fast will continue until Sunday morning around 8am. I’m very excited about this LTE Fast, but am also nervous.
I want to know what God has for me; I want to know what great things I’m going to do for Him, to further His kingdom. But I’m scared that I won’t be able to make that connection with Christ. I’m afraid that even having every distraction stripped away from me, I still won’t be able to focus only on God. I’m afraid that all my guilt, fears, and insecurities will hold me back and keep me from having that intimacy with God.
I’m afraid that I am incapable of all the great things I know God has in store for me. I’m afraid that I won’t trust God in this life-changing weekend and that I won’t get anything out of it. I’m afraid I’m going to waste this weekend; like I’ve done with the first few years of my life.
I’m afraid that I’m going to fail him.
I’m afraid.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Stella’s Monthly Honor Academy Update!
Hello Everyone!
I want to apologize that I haven’t been sending out monthly updates about my internship here at the Honor Academy; life as an intern is very fast paced and loaded with work. Still, that is no excuse; and I am sorry that I haven’t been writing to all of you.
I want to thank you all for all your prayers, support and encouraging words of wisdom. These last few months have been rather hard on me. With all the new knowledge that I am acquiring and trying to master, with a new life style of living in a dorm with others and with personal tragedies that have happened at home; it’s definitely been a time of character, spiritual and emotional growth.
My family and I were struck with a death late September, my step-mom died unexpectedly. I was given emergency leave from the Honor Academy and rushed home to be with my family during this hard time. I was forced to drop out of ESOAL (Emotional Stretching Opportunity of a Lifetime) a LTE (Life Transforming Event). I’m happy to say that I had my own ESOAL that same week; I truly believe that everything that took place was preplanned. The most impactful way that God could have shown Himself to me was through my own personal ESOAL and not the corporate one.
I’m still trying to learn to fully rely on the Lord and to hear His voice, but at least now I know for sure that the Honor Academy is where I am to be. I’ve learned so much about myself and about God in such a short amount of time that I’m amazed with the changes that have been made within me. I’m excited, nervous and anxious to see what is in store for me. I want to thank you all for being there for me and helping me stay strong when I thought I couldn’t.
This weekend the internship is going through another LTE: Fasting – Vision. The fasting LTE is when we fast for about three and half days; we take a vow of silence; we’re not allowed to write letters, emails, or texts; we’re not allowed to listen to music, besides corporate worship time; the only book we’re allowed to read is the Bible; and we’re only allowed to drink water. Every distraction is completely stripped away from us and we are to focus only on God; seek His presence, guidance and “vision” for our life. I’m very excited about this LTE Fast, but am also nervous.
The fasting started last night (Wednesday) and the vow of silence along with all the other restrictions will kick in tonight (Thursday) around 10pm. The fast will continue until Sunday morning around 8am. Please keep the internship and myself in prayer. This is going to be a very tough weekend physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Thank you, again, so much for all your support and prayer – it means a lot. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and have a safe and joyful Thanksgiving.
-Stella Star Cordova
I want to apologize that I haven’t been sending out monthly updates about my internship here at the Honor Academy; life as an intern is very fast paced and loaded with work. Still, that is no excuse; and I am sorry that I haven’t been writing to all of you.
I want to thank you all for all your prayers, support and encouraging words of wisdom. These last few months have been rather hard on me. With all the new knowledge that I am acquiring and trying to master, with a new life style of living in a dorm with others and with personal tragedies that have happened at home; it’s definitely been a time of character, spiritual and emotional growth.
My family and I were struck with a death late September, my step-mom died unexpectedly. I was given emergency leave from the Honor Academy and rushed home to be with my family during this hard time. I was forced to drop out of ESOAL (Emotional Stretching Opportunity of a Lifetime) a LTE (Life Transforming Event). I’m happy to say that I had my own ESOAL that same week; I truly believe that everything that took place was preplanned. The most impactful way that God could have shown Himself to me was through my own personal ESOAL and not the corporate one.
I’m still trying to learn to fully rely on the Lord and to hear His voice, but at least now I know for sure that the Honor Academy is where I am to be. I’ve learned so much about myself and about God in such a short amount of time that I’m amazed with the changes that have been made within me. I’m excited, nervous and anxious to see what is in store for me. I want to thank you all for being there for me and helping me stay strong when I thought I couldn’t.
This weekend the internship is going through another LTE: Fasting – Vision. The fasting LTE is when we fast for about three and half days; we take a vow of silence; we’re not allowed to write letters, emails, or texts; we’re not allowed to listen to music, besides corporate worship time; the only book we’re allowed to read is the Bible; and we’re only allowed to drink water. Every distraction is completely stripped away from us and we are to focus only on God; seek His presence, guidance and “vision” for our life. I’m very excited about this LTE Fast, but am also nervous.
The fasting started last night (Wednesday) and the vow of silence along with all the other restrictions will kick in tonight (Thursday) around 10pm. The fast will continue until Sunday morning around 8am. Please keep the internship and myself in prayer. This is going to be a very tough weekend physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Thank you, again, so much for all your support and prayer – it means a lot. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and have a safe and joyful Thanksgiving.
-Stella Star Cordova
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