Bondage.

I envy people who can express how they're feeling; people who openly verbalize what they're going through. They say what they’re thinking and hold nothing back. They tell you their emotional state and how it’s affecting them. They’re not ashamed to let others know.

Sometimes this can be too much information. Some people overuse this self confidence. But people who can find the happy medium - I envy.

I envy people who can put into words what’s bothering them.
I envy people who can freely speak.
I envy people’s boldness.
I envy people’s confidence.
I envy - their freedom…

Their freedom of not being trapped by words.
Their freedom of openness.
Their freedom of liberty.
Their freedom of wholeness…


I envy people who aren’t trapped in their own skin.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a captive in the enemies’ camp. I’m trapped and tied down. I’m in bondage and can’t wiggle. My mouth is wired shut and no matter how hard I try to cry for help - I don’t make a sound.

I can will myself until I make myself ill, and still, my lips won’t budge. My entire body shakes with wanting and desire to speak, but I cannot part my mouth. Puddles of frustration gather on my eye lids; and I can’t – I just CAN’T.


I’m trapped; trapped by my silence...


I’m tapped.
I’m alone.
And - I’m scared.