Let Me Go

Why does love have to be so complicated? And hurt so much.

I’ve been dating this guy on and off for the last five years. We’re together for a couple of months and then we don’t speak for four or six months. He then comes crawling back to me and I always take him back; and the evil bitter cycle of hurt, disappointment and loneliness starts again.

I have a very strong, dominate and stubborn personality. I need someone by my side that can reign me in and keep me in check. Not someone I can push around and bully.

But he loves me, my bitchiness and all. He’s always there. And, he’s persistent.

No matter how many times I shove him in the mud and kick him in the face, he only wants me.

And that really messes with my head.

I mean, he has to love me to constantly deal with that – right? And even though I love him for never giving up on me, we’re never going to work out.

So, his constant pursuit of me is exhausting.

I can only hear his empty promises so many times. And my demands to “leave me alone” have no substance anymore, even to me.