Review of the ‘Diary of a Teenage Girl’ series
by Melody Carlson.
Review
of Caitlin O’Connor’s diaries.
The
Caitlin O’Connor set has five (5) diaries (books): Becoming Me, It's My Life, Who I Am,
On My Own, and I Do. The series starts with Caitlin being a junior in high school and
follows her through to her senior year of college. Along the way Caitlin is
faced with family problems, tragedies, personal convictions, romantic
relationships, and an overwhelming desire to obey God at all costs – even at
the loss of her relationship with her first love, Josh Miller.
I’ve read
the Chloe Miller set (the second in the series) before reading these dairies. At
some moments, I
found it EXTREMELY difficult to continue reading because I
knew what was going to happen and what the outcome was before I read it. At one point, I
literally had to stop reading the diary put it down and walk away because I
didn’t want to read in detail what happened in the situation. In
total, I cried three (3) times reading this set of diaries.
The three
situations I cried over I had read before, I’ve read them countless of times
but in Chloe’s point of view, never in Caitlin’s. So to read and feel the way
Caitlin did and to experience the situations first hand, instead of hear-say,
was too much for me to handle at moments. Knowing what was going to happen and
how it was going to end, was like waiting for the other shoe to fall – heart breaking.
I’ve
always seen Caitlin as this mature, put together, God fearing/loving person.
However, in “Becoming Me”, I saw this rebellious teenager with
anger, resentment and stubbornness I’d never seen before. Caitlin was whinny,
ruthless, determined to fit in, guy obsessed, she spoke back to her parents and
got physical with boys. It was night and day, and I liked it. As I continued to
read through the set of diaries, it was cool to see her grow and change into
this amazing person.
Another
culture shock, was hearing how much of a man whore Josh Miller was. Josh is
Chloe’s brother, and she mentions a few times how different her brother was in
high school – I just never knew how much. It was so weird to hear how Josh
allowed his emotions/hormones guide him. How he jumped from one girl, to
another, to another. How he would love them and then leave them. Such a
different person then the reserved, compassionate and thoughtful Josh I know
and love.
Two other
characters that threw me for a loop were Clay Berringer and Zach Streeter. I
knew that Clay died in a high school shooting; Chloe mentions it in her diary.
However, I didn’t have that strong of a connection to him because Chloe didn’t
know him personally. But reading Caitlin’s diary and meeting him truly for the
first time, was my first moment where I didn’t want to continue reading because
I knew what the outcome was.
And then poor
Zach, he was so sweet, kind and on fire for God. He helped Beanie Jacobs (Caitlin’s
best friend) to find God, he helped Caitlin to find her way back to God and
Josh too. He had so much potential and such a desire to obey God – but I knew
it wasn’t going to end well for him. Zach is only mentioned once in Chloe’s
diary by Beanie, she says how having sex and getting pregnant with Zach ruined
their relationship and pushed Zach away from God.
The first
time I cried reading this set was in the beginning of “It’s My Life”.
Beanie saves Oliver (Caitlin’s nephew) by shoving him out of the way of a
moving car; she saves his life but in return loses her baby. I knew it was coming,
I knew the outcome, but I didn’t expect it to hit me so hard. As I read the
chapter, tears ran down my face and I held my breath, it was like a horrible
case of déjà-vu.
In “Who
I Am”, I was very pleasantly greeted by a dear old friend, Chloe
Miller. I couldn’t wait for Chloe to enter Caitlin’s diaries and I wasn’t
disappointed. It was surreal to see Chloe from Caitlin’s point of view. Chloe
was sassy, spunky and even more rebellious. She hadn’t truly honed in her
passion for music and didn’t see her singing as a ‘gift’ from God - yet. I was
also surprised to find out that Caitlin was the heavy push that finally shoved
Chloe out of the musical closet.
The
character I was most moved by was Jewel Garcia. She was loud, mean, vindictive,
and a little slutty. When she first popped into Caitlin’s diaries, I wanted to
hate her – ha ha. But I knew I couldn’t because she was Cesar’s cousin, and I
adore Cesar. Cesar is Chloe’s first love interest and best friend. Again, I
knew what was going to happen to Jewel and how it was all going to end. But
again, I didn’t have that strong connection to her because Chloe’s diaries
started after this situation.
Jewel got
dumped by her boyfriend and attempted to commit suicide. She lived, but her
brain was severely damaged and left her in a child-like mentality. Chloe
visited Jewel with Caitlin and together, all three of them became best friends
and grew closer to God because of it. As the chapters went on and on about
Caitlin and Chloe’s visits, and how much Caitlin started to love Jewel, I
couldn’t handle it. I knew what was going to happen. As the end came closer and
closer, I had to take breaks from the diary. I couldn’t bear to read it in
full.
The second
time I cried in this set was when Jewel died. “May she dance in heaven with
the angels.”
The
third and final time I cried was when Chloe got saved at Clay’s gravestone in “On My Own”. With now knowing
Clay, who he was and how passionate he was – it only seemed fitting that even
after death he would still bring people to God.
In
Caitlin’s final diary “I Do”,
I found it astonishing when Caitlin laid her wedding to Josh Miller on God’s
alter and decided that she wasn’t going to stress over it. She was going to
allow God to plan the wedding, just like how she allowed God to plan her life. It
was interesting to see how everything
just fell in place.
One
thing I wanted so badly to happen was for Beanie to make Caitlin’s wedding
dress. In Chloe’s diaries, Beanie is Chloe’s bands (Redemption) ‘personal
stylist’, and I was overjoyed to find out that my wish came true and that
Beanie made Caitlin’s dream wedding dress.
Another
thing I DESPERATLY wanted to find out was if Chloe would bring Jeremy
Baxter to Caitlin and Josh’s wedding. Jeremy is the lead singer of Iron Cross,
a famous and popular band that Redemption tours with. Chloe and Jeremy kind of
have this romantic thing going on it her diaries and I always hoped that they
would end up together. I squealed like a
true fan-girl when Chloe told Caitlin that she was bring Jeremy to the wedding
as her ‘friend’.
And
the last and final thing that completed this set of books for me, and
completely took me off guard was when Caleb (Josh and Chloe’s brother) showed
up at the wedding and was in the wedding party. I was so surprised by this, I
didn’t see it coming (AT ALL!) and
was so pleasantly content.
Caitlin
doesn’t mention Caleb until this final diary, but Chloe talks about him often
in her diaries. I think I grew to love Caleb as much as Chloe, because I find
him so relatable. Caleb was a smart and bright young man, until he went to
college and got hooked on drugs. Drugs ruined his life and destroyed his
relationship with his parents. But Chloe never forgot about him, she never
stopped loving him and never stopped praying for him.
From
personal experience of dealing with family members who have drug problems, it
touched my heart deeply to hear that Chloe helped Caleb through his addiction.
Caleb climbed through the grime to the top and worked hard to find his way back
to his siblings and into that wedding party. It brought tears to my eyes and a
huge smile to my face.
Overall,
I was extremely impressed with this set of diaries and fell deeply in love with
Caitlin O’Connor. It was an extremely odd and a different experience to see
things from Caitlin’s point of view instead of Chloe’s. I found it enjoyable to
see not just Caitlin grow up, but to also see Josh grow up as well.
It
comforted me to see this insecure, lost, angry girl become a mature, influential,
and devoted woman of God.
