A few weeks ago Mr Grumpy (my dad) lost a very important
envelope in the house, he miss placed it somewhere. We looked (almost)
everywhere for it. We looked for days, hours at a time. But it never showed up.
When Mr Grumpy first discovered that he miss placed it I
went to the location where it was supposed to be, touched the place and prayed:
"God, please help us find the envelope. Reveal to us where it is."
After I prayed the pray a location came to me. I went to
the location, and nothing was there. I went back to the spot where it was
supposed to be, prayed the prayer again and went to another location that came
to me. Again, nothing. I went one last time back to the spot and prayed the
prayer again - but this time I prayed with anger and annoyance. "Come on
God! Just reveal to me where the envelope is! Just tell me!!"
I sat near the spot for a while, waiting and then the
word towels entered my mind. I looked up into my dad's bathroom, behind the
door is a cabinet where we keep all the towels. By this time I was pretty upset
and annoyed. "AH!! Yeah right, it wouldn't be there." I got up and
left. We continued to look for the envelope for a few more days, without any
resolution.
Then one morning while Mr Grumpy was at work and I was in
the kitchen, the Hoarder (dad's fiancé) enters the kitchen with a smile on her
face.
"Guess what I
found?"
I look at her,
unsure. "Um...?"
"THE
ENVELOPE!"
"You're
kidding!? Where was it?"
"In the
cabinet in your dad's bathroom. Under some of the towels."
I'm noticing a trend with me. I get extremely impatient
with God. I want everything instantly and when I don't get what I want in my
timing I throw a fit. And when I go to God about a certain issue multiple
times, I get more and more angry at Him each time I have to go back.
This was a test, I see that now; I failed it miserably.
God wanted to see how determined I would be to follow His guide. Apparently I'm
not very determined.
I'm disappointed in myself. I didn't trust God and I
didn't look in one more location He gave. But, I believe that God isn't. I
don't think He see's it as a fail, I think He see's it as a lesson. I also
believe that God knows I'm trying to become a better Christ follower. He knows
my desire to become more like Him, more godly.
I have to remember that God knows my heart, even if my
actions don't follow it; He knows I'm after Him.
