:CLOSURE:

Closure:
psychology – sense of finality; the sense of finality and coming to terms with an experience, felt or experienced over time.
Confrontation, acceptance, coming to terms, closure; whatever you want to call it, we all have circumstances in life where we have a decision to make of either facing something head on or running away from it.

Confrontation is hard. Facing someone and letting them know that they hurt you or letting them know they’re doing something wrong is never easy or fun.

Accepting a circumstance is also not a walk in the park. Coming to the realization that you just can’t do anything to change the outcome of a situation, is also very difficult.

And closure - a hard, difficult, painful combination of the two. Not only are you confronting a person, but you’re reliving it to receive peace and acceptance.

I don’t know about other people, but just thinking about the process makes me overwhelmed and discouraged. I’ve never really confronted a person or a situation. I’ve never really, truly accepted a wrong done to me. And I have most certainly never found closure. I’ve either run away from things or threw them in the dark corners of the closet and forgot about them.

I’ve never wanted to face hurt head on, I mean who does? But, I’ve very slowly come to the realization, that that is where we find healing and comfort. It’s not easy, not fun and every fiber in your being screams to run away; but it’s in that moment where you can either make growth or stay stagnant.

Recently I’ve had people walk me through this process, teaching me how to do this. We worked at it as a team. Took it in segments and never moved too fast. Everything we worked on was from the past; hurts and pains that happened long ago. I’ve grown and matured so much from dealing with things that happened years ago.

However, I never worked on things from now, from the present. And I never worked alone, I always had someone holding my hand or giving me a push.

But, I’ve moved. I left my mentors and my support team. And I am now on my own and responsible for my own actions and growth. That is such a scary thought. I have to rebuild everything and this time I don’t have help. The last time I had people coming to me offering healing, but this time I have to go find those people. I have to be active in my healing and recovery.

This past week, I had a very difficult situation hit me in the face. It shook me to my core and put me in a stand-still. As the week went on, more and more details came out making the situation worse. I didn’t know what to do or how to act. I was upset, depressed, and angry.

I was faced with a decision. I could either A) work at the situation and find closure or B) I could run away and throw it in the closet.

It was hard, difficult and there were tons of tears. And I had no one holding my hand. But I fought through the pain, hurt and deceit - and I found my closure.

I hit the big scary problem head on and I beat it till I got my peace.

I didn’t back down. I didn’t coward. And I didn’t turn around or stop half way. I didn’t yell, I didn’t scream (there were a few times, but wasn’t at the person), and I wasn’t manipulative. I addressed the situation calmly (at moments), logically and peacefully.

I fought for my freedom in this situation.

I found my closure - on my own (with God’s help).

And I did it.

I DID IT!

I had no coaching, I had no advice, and I had no one telling me what to do or what the next was. I pulled myself from the situation, prayed and thought. And I addressed it. I made it happen. I put everything in motion and it turned out good.

I guess that’s always my fear, that I’ll work at a situation and not find peace and freedom.

But God is God, and He always provides and protects His children. And I have to remind myself daily, to allow Him.