The 24th Year

I’m 24 years old, today.

Twenty-Four Years Old.
The week leading to this day, was filled with lots of different emotions. I’m so grateful to be alive. I’m so happy that I can celebrate my birth. I’m still in awe that the Lord saw fit to save me from myself. But with all the joy and happiness that came with this day, fear also came with it.

Am I wasting my life?
What do I have to show for 24 years?
What am I doing with this gift that the Lord gave me?

This past year of life, I did a lot struggling. Struggling with myself. Struggling with God. This year has been hard, tough, lonely, and difficult. But I’ve learned a lot about myself. And about God.

I realize this was the perfect time for God to show me He had my back. For the first time in years, my life is stable. So with nothing to worry about (ie: job, home, vehicle, etc.) the Lord was able to work with me on an issue that was very close to my heart.

Even though, I don't feel like I've had a whole lot of growth this year. I know I've learned that I can take care of myself (with the Lord's watchful eye) and that I don't need others to watch over me. I've also learned that I can provide for myself, I don't need people to give me money, food, or a roof over my head. I am able and strong enough to do it myself.

I learned that I can provide myself a living. Something I never thought I could do. I guess deep down, I never believed I would be able to provide for myself.

I also learned that I don't need to be in the middle of a 'spiritual' place to feel the Lord or to have the Lord see me. I learned that anywhere I went the Lord would also be there. He's never going to be far away.

I learned that this is what my 23rd year was for. For me to learn my dependence on the Lord and for the Lord to show me that I'm strong and that He'll never leave.

I can’t believe I’ve made it to see the day of my 24th birthday. The Lord has been with me up to this day, up to this year. And He will be with me for my many years to come.

I’m alive for a reason; I just need to use the years to come to figure out that reason. And if I’m doing that, than I’m not wasting my gift. Because at least I’m trying to do something with it than purposely wasting it like I was.

I’m 24 years old today. Thank you God.

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To read my other birthday blogs, go here.