Reflection Essay - Peak Challenge – Houston, TX ATF

Being unable to test out for the Mountain LTE I was very sadden; this was going to be yet another core bonding LTE that I would be unable to participate in. I again sat on the side lines watching my core getting ready for the Mountain LTE and again walked them to the LTE and again had to say good-bye to them. I had to drop out of ESOAL for emergency leave months ago; and here I was again staying behind.

It was a bitter-sweet moment for me. I wouldn’t be able to go on the Mountain LTE but I was going to the Houston, TX Acquire the Fire event. I wasn’t able to be sad for too long, I had to prepare to drive six hours the next day to Houston. Packing everything the same night my core left, I woke up the next morning, packed the car with two friends and got on the road to ATF.

I had been to many ATF’s before, but never as an intern; and especially never really saw how they were run. This ATF event I learned a lot. I learned that there are many spiritual levels. That people do what they think others want them to do. People crave attention. And that people in leadership are made and called; not just called.

After viewing, participating, and praying; I left the ATF with a bitter taste in my mouth. ATF’s had always dramatically changed my life. The whole reason why I’m at the Honor Academy is because of an ATF. And here I was leaving the ATF sadden, broken-hearted and confused. Not because of God, not because of myself, not because of the speakers, not because of Teen Mania and especially not because of the ATF event itself; but because of the people that were attending the event.

I guess always attending the event I always had the mentality that ATF’s were fun, they were a cool place to hang out, the speakers were cool to listen to and the music rocked; but that was it – ATF was a sociable event that I went to yearly. It wasn’t a place I went to get refilled, it wasn’t a place I went to hear Gods word, it wasn’t a place I went to encounter God – it was just a place for a fun ‘clean’ time. And seeing others with this attitude and heart broke my heart.

People were so close to God, so close to knowing Him, seeing Him, sensing Him and they didn’t take that moment. They were too focused on the music, too focused on their friends, too focused on themselves that they missed God.

And it made me realize – I was in their exact spot a month earlier.