The new interns have arrived! After a weeks’ worth of finial preparation the new August class of 2010 have arrived on campus. It’s still odd to think that most of my August class has left and that I am now a graduate intern (GI). It’s been amazing to witness the growth and maturity that people have gained over the last week. The GI’s have truly super grown to be leaders.
Tonight, sitting in on the opening session of the new year, I was hit with the realization that last year I was in this exact same spot scarred out of my mind. I can remember, as if it was only last week, stepping off the ATF bus on the Teen Mania soil and instantly thinking that I had made a horrible mistake. Even at that early moment, the enemy was trying to get me to leave.
I remember placing my foot on the cement and instantly feeling something wasn’t right. I wanted to turn quickly, jump back on the bus and head back to the airport to go home. After the terrifying registration, long walk to the dorms and tasty dinner at the café, the opening session with Ron Luce was lost in thought with my negative thoughts, disbelieving heart and depression.
Tonight during worship, I stood to the right of the stage under the screen and the Lord spoke to me: “Look at where you are.” I opened my eyes and looked at the stage; I was at the front of the auditorium. “I’m at the front of the room Lord.” “Look behind you.” I turned around and saw hundreds of people behind me; some worshiping the Lord fully, others unsure and hesitating. “I see the new interns Lord.” “Look to the back.” My eyes wondered to the back of the room. “Do you remember when you stood there? You were in turmoil; you didn’t know if you should stay or leave.” As I looked to the back of the room, I remembered standing in the corner scared, unsure and filled with guilt & shame. “Look at what I brought you through! You are new, new and restored!” I smiled as tears came to my eyes as the Lord continued to minister to my heart.
It’s amazing to think of the change and restoration that’s happened in my life in this short year. So much has happened; it’s still hard to believe that a year has passed.
As I continued to stare behind me, memories of my first few days at the HA came back to me. I could remember and feel all the mixed feelings I had. The doubt, the fear, the wanting of acceptance, the guilt, the shame, the cracked heart I was trying to heal; everything came back like a flood - but not for me, for the new interns.
I had been in their spot little over a year ago, I knew how they were feeling, what they must have been thinking, and my heart went out to them. They know nothing of what they’re getting themselves into, but boy is the Lord going to reign in their lives!
My heart leaped for joy as the opening session ended and the new year had officially started. Can’t wait to see what the Lord has planned.
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