Whose Your Master?

"Once subdued, you are pushed to isolate yourself from anything that might free you or might conflict with its power over you. It lets you survive just enough to have the strength to serve it and, at the same time, puts you through whatever it takes to numb your mind to its cruel control." - Randy from the 'By His Wounds' course provided by Setting Captives Free.

The Darkness.

"Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So He subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron." - Psalm 107: 10-16

Proverbs 12:20

There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace. -Proverbs 12:20 (New International Version)

Living Water

Sketch


Water Color Version

How Selfish Are We?

I don’t know how to explain what I saw this morning. I don’t know how to describe the scene I witnessed. I can’t even fathom trying to sketch it out. I found myself in a place; I never would have dreamed. The sight I saw brought tears to my eyes and muffled-screams to my throat. The sight I witnessed brought shouts of joy to my lips and raised excitement in my soul. The moment I witnessed, the precious moment I saw; lasted but seconds for me, minutes in reality and lives on in eternity.

And oh, how quickly we pass it by. We walk by it daily and give no thought to the ultimate sacrifice. We take advantage and scoot on by. We lose our focus, and don’t see the salvation in front of our eyes! How blind are we?

How self absorbed, egotistical, idolizing, greedy children we are. How can we not see, not see the ultimate love spilled out onto us. We stand in the presence of the Holy, because of this one precious moment; we live in the moment everyday and we don’t notice it!

How selfish are we, to think we matter more.
How selfish are we, to hold back and bottle up.
How selfish are we, to want EVERYTHING instant – we don’t want to wait.

Yet, we put that moment on hold. We put that precious moment on the back burner and only peep at it when we oh so desire to.

How selfish are we, how selfish are we to not just sit and wait; wait and see.

How selfish are we?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16 (New International Version)

"Shake the Dust"

Anis Mojgani performs Shake the Dust at HEAVY AND LIGHT.

I'm so Sick...

I’ve become depressed the last few days.

I’m ashamed of this sin that I’ve been committing for years in secret. I’m ashamed to talk to, communicate with and be around the people I’ve told. I know it was the right thing for me to tell people. It was the right thing for me to bring the sin out of the dark and into the light. I needed to tell someone that I was struggling so that I could get accountability. I need to end this.

But now I’m so ashamed. I’m so ashamed of everything I’ve done. I’m so ashamed of the things I’ve been a part of. The shame that comes from thinking or talking about this sin is so strong that I don’t want to deal with the pain. The shame has turned to pain. And I just don’t want to deal with it.

I don’t want to work through the issue because the shame from it is so strong.

It sickens me.

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick
-"I'm So Sick" by FlyLeaf

Window

Lighted Path.

This is a defining moment for me.

I can either continue with the truth I know and seek help to change myself and take a step closer to the person that God has created me to be. Or I can run away and turn my back on the truth I know and look back on it at another moment. In return, this step will set me back and hinder my growth.

Is it worth it to not dig up the pain? Is it worth me living another day in anguish so that I don’t have to face my sin every day as it stares back at me while I’m trying to ‘fix’ it. Is it worth denying the restoration the Lord can give me, so that I won’t have to look at my dirt?

Do I really want to go back to step one?

Do I want to live in darkness the rest of my life?

I’m stronger than this; stronger than this fear, stronger than this lust, stronger than the sin. Because the Lord lives in me! Because I am his child. Because of Jesus’ pure spilled blood that has washed me clean. I don’t need to feel dirty or ashamed. I am clean…

Now I just need to walk in that.
Walk in the light.

Repentance

"Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." - 2 Timothy 2:25-26

Repentance is the only way to escape from the devil’s trap.

Have you Forgotten How to Be Sorry?

"Conviction of sin is one of the rarest things that ever strikes a man. It is the threshold of an understanding of God. Jesus Christ said that when the Holy Spirit came He would convict of sin, and when the Holy Spirit rouses a man's conscience and brings him into the presence of God, it is not his relationship with men that bothers him, but his relationship with God--against Thee, Thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Thy sight. Conviction of sin, the marvel of forgiveness, and holiness are so interwoven that it is only the forgiven man who is the holy man, he proves he is forgiven by being the opposite to what he was, by God's grace. Repentance always brings a man to this point: I have sinned. The surest sign that God is at work is when a man says that and means it. Anything less than this is remorse for having made blunders, the reflex action of disgust at himself.

The entrance into the Kingdom is through the panging pains of repentance crashing into a man's respectable goodness; then the Holy Ghost, Who produces these agonies, begins the formation of the Son of God in the life. The new life will manifest itself in conscious repentance and unconscious holiness, never the other way about. The bedrock of Christianity is repentance. Strictly speaking, a man cannot repent when he chooses; repentance is a gift of God. The old Puritans used to pray for the gift of tears. If ever you cease to know the virtue of repentance, you are in darkness. Examine yourself and see if you have forgotten how to be sorry." -Oswald Chambers