Mother Dearest

When I attended Teen Mania’s the Honor Academy, I didn’t have the space to take a lot of things with me. One of the first things I had to call home for was clothes. I took a small suitcase with me, and I quickly found out that wouldn’t do. I spoke with my step-mom and asked her to pack me as much warm clothes as she could find and ‘nice’ looking things. When I received my first package from home, I was so excited and happy. I opened the box with delight, and when I noticed that an orange and peach sweater was packed – it brought tears and an overwhelming sense of love and protection to me.

My mom always wore this orange and peach colored sweater when she was relaxing at home. I can remember her siting on her bed with her hair up in a messy bun, night gown on, socks and this sweater – reading her Bible.

My mom and I weren’t as close as I thought. We didn’t talk very much, and we hardly shared personal and intimate things. But one thing, I know for sure, after all these years – is that she loved me, she kept me safe to the best of her ability and she protected me from as much as she could.

The first few years after my mother passed, her presence was made in small subtle ways – like this sweater. It was mistakenly packed, but meant to come with me. My mom followed me to the HA, that might sound strange or unrealistic to some – but to me, it was a small sign that I was making the right decision when I was so unsure.

I’ve started to pack for the move back to Cali, today I started to clean out my closet. I reached up on my top shelf and pulled down my Rubbermaid container, I opened the lid to place my books and journals in – and there, lying on the bottom was the warm, bright, orange and peach sweater.

My mom might not be here on earth any more, but she’s still with me.

And, she pops in just when I need her the most.