It's good to be back in the "land of cows," at least to me (land of cows). I've missed East Texas. It's my home, where I belong. It's good to be back in the place that makes me feel whole.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I Heart Cows
It's good to be back in the "land of cows," at least to me (land of cows). I've missed East Texas. It's my home, where I belong. It's good to be back in the place that makes me feel whole.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Oklahoma
For the last week I’ve been hanging out in Oklahoma spending time with my family. I’ve been having a great time seeing my brother, sister in law, niece and nephew. It’s so amazing to see how much the kids have grown and matured into who they are.
I’ve been having a blast hanging out with my niece, playing board games, computer/iPhone games, reading, drawing and playing make believe. And sitting with my little nephew, watching his favorite shows and watching him play with his race cars.
It saddens me to know that I’ve hardly been in their lives, but I’m glad to be a part of it when I can. I will never forget how excited and joyous my niece was when I pulled up the driveway. Or how animated my nephew was when he first introduced me to the house and all his toys.
I’ve made a personal connection with them that can never be taken away from me. And if I get just that out of my random road trip back to Cali, it will be well worth it.
I’ve been having a blast hanging out with my niece, playing board games, computer/iPhone games, reading, drawing and playing make believe. And sitting with my little nephew, watching his favorite shows and watching him play with his race cars.
It saddens me to know that I’ve hardly been in their lives, but I’m glad to be a part of it when I can. I will never forget how excited and joyous my niece was when I pulled up the driveway. Or how animated my nephew was when he first introduced me to the house and all his toys.
I’ve made a personal connection with them that can never be taken away from me. And if I get just that out of my random road trip back to Cali, it will be well worth it.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
the Heart
Ever since I got my ‘Forsaken Fighter’ tattoo for my 23rd birthday, I’ve wanted to get another tattoo. I want to get Isaiah 42:16 tattooed on my other wrist. I’m also playing with the idea of getting a scar tattoo on my right forearm. But neither seem to be the ‘right’ time yet.
With leaving Colorado right around the corner, I decided that I needed a change. A going away present to myself. With my first two tattoo ideas in my mind a third idea came to me that I have also been considering, tattooing a small heart onto my wrist. With the self-harm rate still high in the youth generation, people have been drawing hearts on their wrist to show love and sympathy for the cutters. The same reason why I want a scar tattoo on my forearm. Cutting is part of my past, it’s not who I am any more but it’s helped molded me into who I am today – a stronger beautiful fighter.
Sitting in my room I really started to consider getting a heart tattoo. The more I thought about the tattoo, the more I wanted to spruce it up. I thought about adding color, adding a design to the outside, the inside, adding a cross to show God’s love, and then it hit me – a crown around the heart.
And then instantly, I saw the tattoo in my mind.
A few years ago, when I was working through a lot of issues in my life, the Lord used pictures of a heart to depict the different stages that my heart was in. The healing process that the Lord was leading me in. The first drawing of the heart was broken and harden by the cruelness of the world and got mended and placed back together by God. In another drawing, the heart was washed out and cleansed by ‘living water,’ the Holy Spirit. Another drawing showed the heart having to cross a bridge to get to God, in the middle of the bridge was fire. The heart had to cross through the fire, to get refined by the Holy Spirit to get closer to God. And one of the last drawings, was the heart being surrounded and protected by three beings (God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit), with a crown around it. The crown showed that the heart had become righteous again and that the heart was ruled by the King – God.
I am constantly reminded how much God loves me. And how much He cares for me, He saved me when I was lost and never let me go. My heart drawings mean a great deal to me. I am so grateful to have been able to pull some of the drawings together and show what the Lord has done in my life.
With leaving Colorado right around the corner, I decided that I needed a change. A going away present to myself. With my first two tattoo ideas in my mind a third idea came to me that I have also been considering, tattooing a small heart onto my wrist. With the self-harm rate still high in the youth generation, people have been drawing hearts on their wrist to show love and sympathy for the cutters. The same reason why I want a scar tattoo on my forearm. Cutting is part of my past, it’s not who I am any more but it’s helped molded me into who I am today – a stronger beautiful fighter.
Sitting in my room I really started to consider getting a heart tattoo. The more I thought about the tattoo, the more I wanted to spruce it up. I thought about adding color, adding a design to the outside, the inside, adding a cross to show God’s love, and then it hit me – a crown around the heart.
And then instantly, I saw the tattoo in my mind.
A few years ago, when I was working through a lot of issues in my life, the Lord used pictures of a heart to depict the different stages that my heart was in. The healing process that the Lord was leading me in. The first drawing of the heart was broken and harden by the cruelness of the world and got mended and placed back together by God. In another drawing, the heart was washed out and cleansed by ‘living water,’ the Holy Spirit. Another drawing showed the heart having to cross a bridge to get to God, in the middle of the bridge was fire. The heart had to cross through the fire, to get refined by the Holy Spirit to get closer to God. And one of the last drawings, was the heart being surrounded and protected by three beings (God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit), with a crown around it. The crown showed that the heart had become righteous again and that the heart was ruled by the King – God.
I am constantly reminded how much God loves me. And how much He cares for me, He saved me when I was lost and never let me go. My heart drawings mean a great deal to me. I am so grateful to have been able to pull some of the drawings together and show what the Lord has done in my life.
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