Beautiful with my Scars

"Fear: That my depression will defeat & define me.

Dream: To be able to say I'm beautiful with my scars."
Source: To Write Love On Her Arms
I’m not ashamed of my scars. And I hope that I never will be. My scars are who I am. They’ve helped make and mold me into whom I am today.

I don’t glorify them however, I’m not proud that I placed them on my skin. I don’t try to justify or defend them. I know that placing a blade to my skin wasn’t smart, and that it didn’t take away the pain. I know now that self-harm and suicide doesn’t solve or help. It’s a rotting Band-Aid that only infects.

I struggle on a constant basis with my depression and sadness. I’ll admit this past week I thought about cutting and suicide. I even played with the idea for a second. One second. And then the second second, I realized what I was doing and I immediately repented and forced myself to think different thoughts.

I’m afraid that I will allow myself to believe in the lie that ‘cutting is okay.’ I’m afraid that I will become deeply depressed and that I will truly consider suicide as the ‘only option.’ I’m afraid that all my hurt, pain and turmoil was for ‘nothing.’ I’m afraid that I will live my life uneventfully and that I will not lead anyone to Christ. I’m afraid of wasting my life…

But then I look at my scars and I remember that I survived. I remember that I’m a Forsaken Fighter. And I remember that God healed my broken Heart for a reason. And that gives me hope.

Hope, that maybe, breathing is enough.
For now.

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To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. - Taken off the TWLOHA Facebook page.