It’s good to be back home for a holiday. I’ve missed so many holiday’s, birthdays, and events being gone for the last four years. It feels nice to celebrate with people I love and care about. The last time I was home for a holiday, a couple of years ago, it was hard to come back to my dad’s house to celebrate.
At the time memories of my past still haunted me, I would walk the hall and I felt like I was getting attacked. I had to face my past. I had to hit it head on. I had to confront my guilt, shame, regret, and fear. It was very hard for me, but I did it and I felt peace. With returning home I didn’t know how I would feel, I didn’t know if I would still feel that peace. Luckily, I still do. The memories of the house no longer haunt me. I am now able to rest and reminisce about the joy and life of the house and my memories instead of the pain and death.
A few miles away from the house is this small church, my mom’s church. I’ve had three main churches’ influence my life, this is one of them. My mom went to this church for years. She loved this church and was involved with so much. After my mom passed, my dad and I stopped going regularly. We still go to the church, to this day, just occasionally.
So with today being Easter Sunday and not having visited the church in years, I decided I would go. I saw some familiar faces and tons of new ones. But there were a few that caught me off guard - my second cousin, his wife and their family. A while after I arrived at the church, my first cousin (father of the second cousin) arrived with his family. I was so happy to see so much of my family together at church.
Once family started moving closer to where we lived, my mom started inviting them to our church. One by one different family members would come to visit and slowly ‘mom’s church’ also became their church. It overfilled my heart with joy to see so much of my family at church today. Because of my mom and her need to have a ‘home’ church and be involved in ministry, a part of our family is still there.
I think that’s what I needed most. To see that yes things have changed, but there are still remnants of the past. How the heart, love and actions of one person can affect so many others. I saw the ripple effect that my mom had created in action and it bright pride to my heart and a smile to my lips.
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